so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
