Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
