If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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