Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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