Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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