i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
