i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
