It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well you can't waste a boner
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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