Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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