ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
