I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
is it fun? or sober?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
