She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
