The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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