oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
