I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I will pee on everything he values.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
