yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
