I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Someone signed my nipple.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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