her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
