Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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