Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
