Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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