check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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