Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
