She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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