I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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