He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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