i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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