so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
