That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
