i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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