I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
