my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
