just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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