Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
