what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
