i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
