Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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