is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
