I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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