i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
