I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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