clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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