Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
