the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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