He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
