Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
