she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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