It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I want to fling myself into the sun
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
