I faked an abortion last night.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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