i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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